sophie_no_uh

FIRST REACTION: Okay this is called FIRST REACTION... type what comes to your mind first whenever you hear these words. Don't think and don't go back and change. Doesn't matter how random just type it!


1. Cigarettes: lung cancer
2. Sex: makes little kids say “eewww!”
3. Relationships: I wouldn’t know
4. Your Last Ex: I’ve never had a boy friend
5. Power Rangers: pink one!
6. Crack: those little grass things growing between the pavement squares
7. The President: bush (yuck)
8. Cars: hybrid
9. Gas Prices: got up to $4
10. Halloween: candy that makes me fat
11. Bon Jovi: that bald guy…no wait..that’s sting
12. Religion: jewish
13. Myspace: stupid shit
14. Worst fear: spiders/ fat
15. Marriage: hopefully when I’m a bit older
16. Paris Hilton: ick
17. Brunettes: meee
18. Redheads: I wish I was one
19: Politics: Democrat
20: Pass the time: tv
21. One night stands: so stupid
22. Cell Phone: nutcracker ringtone
23. Pixie Stix: SUGAR!!!
24. Vanilla Ice cream: plain
25. Port a Potties: poop--eww
26. High school: west
27. Pajamas: cozy
28. Wood: forest
29. Wet Socks:gahhh I want a towel
30. Alcohol: drinking and driving is bad
31. The word HATE: sad
32. Your best friend: um
33. Money: urban outfitters
34. Heartache: L
35. Love: valentines day
36. Time: I need a lot more
37. Divorce: bad

Instructions:

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the ‘next’ button
6. Don't lie

Opening Credits: Under The Sea-The Little mermaid
Waking up: Rhythm of the night- Moulin Rouge
First Day of High School: You’re a Star-Josie and the pussycats (yeah right)
Falling In Love: One short day-Wicked
First Song: Elaborate lives-Aida
Breaking Up: Bounce – Sarah Connor
Prom: Breathe – Anna Nalick
Mental Breakdown: Another day - Rent
Driving: Cecelia – Simon and Garfunkel
Flashback: Another Pyramid - Aida
Getting Back Together: All Star – Smash Mouth - Shrek
Wedding: Can You Feel the love tonight (aww)
Birth of Child: Barbie Girl (heh)
Final Battle: You’ll see - Rent
Death Scene: The Mummer’s Dance- Loreena McKennitt
Funeral Song: Ms. New Booty – Bubba Sparxxx (LOL!)
End Credits: Girl Next Door- Saving Jane (depressing-ish)

okay so i havent updated in forever but this wont be very long either cause i wanna go to bed soon-ish and prolly nobody reads this anyway. kay so over break i've been eating so much shit and i wanna start eating better food and less food cause i really gotta lose weight cause a week from tomorrow is competition!!!! i know i wont lose much by then but i wanna lose for future things and just for life in general.

so the other day leah and i were at karen's practicing (and of course talking) and i went over to the two pairs of karen's pointe shoes she has b/c i was wondering if the tip was hard by its self or if it had something in it and karen asked my if i wanted to try going up. there was no elastic for the ankle and the ribbons were tied together so there wasnt much keeping my foot in the shoe. but anywho i actualy went up. yes me with the terrible feet and ankles went up on pointe and ballenced!!! it didnt even hurt like everyone says. i mean it wasnt the most comfy thing cause the shoes didnt fit perfectly and there was no padding or anything but still :D so of course that whole experience made me want to go on pointe even more. so right now i dont think its at all possible to want to go on pointe more than i do.

that leads me to my new year's resolutions:
- do absolutely EVERYTHING in my power to get up on pointe.
- try my absolute hardest in everything we do in dance class no matter how hard or easy it is or how sore or tired i am
- get moved up a level in some of my dance classes (in the fall)
- get into senior company or at least get in it the year after
- lose weight...well at least lose fat (i might gain muscle too though which will at a bit of weight).
- get down to a size 0 (that means lose the butt and the upper thigh)
- get a flat tummy

there they are. as you can see the majority of my thinking goes towards dance and weight (friends too).

I always think people hate me. sometimes people are like why the hell do you think so and so hates you but i cant help it, i always do. so currently i think that my dance teachers ari and zach hate me. I think ari hates me cause she always seems sweet but when she talks to me (even just saying hi) she always sounds cold. i think zach hates me cause hot hot hot (our jr co dance) has alot of annoying little kids in it and zach doesnt like little kids. so if i'm in the dance with them then he might think i'm like them and i really really dont want that. i really like ari and zach, they are both great teachers and i have a lot of respect for them and really admire them so i want them to not hate me (maybe even like me!).

so this is probably long and boring for everyone if anyone actualy reads this. i'm tired now and must go to bed

wow i havent updated in so long, i guess when ever i'm about to my mom walks in and i have to get of LJ.

i just feel so sad and confused...i just feel on the virge of tears for what seems like no good reason. i'm super sad about company camp being over after tomorrow. i love working on Hot Hot Hot with Zach its such a fun dance and i like working for two hours straight i dont know why, but it just feels so good, so right, i dont ever want to stop. i know regular dance is starting up so i'll be dancing even more and i like that, but something about company camp just feels so perfect. i love the dance. i love working with zach. i love the group of people.

arg!!! my moms been spying on me!!! i hate it!!!

i nervous about nutcracker tryouts. i act like they are no big deal but i realy wanna be in it, specificaly as a party girl but anything is realy fine with me.

i want co camp to last for ever...

i feel paranoid, like my mom is watching me...

i guess i'll go now...

MAY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.
MAY:

So today after sharsheret (which was absolute hell) everyone went out to hubbard street diner. so of course i had to eat 3 chicken fingers like 20 fries and most of a huge creamy piece of key lime pie. that and all the other shit i ate today brings me to a herendous, huge, and most of all gross nearly 1700 calories and 65 grams of fat! EEEEEEEWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!! where the hell did my self control go?!?!?! i want it fucking back! why the hell do i have to be so fat!?!?!

i'm so fat

what the hell happened?

i want to go back

i want a metabolism...NOW!

i hate being so fucking fat

i hate me

this is the worst day ever. i just feel so depressed and like crying. Everyone i know hates me. i apparenly push everyone away. my parents are always mad at me or realy anoying. i hate being alive. i just want to be dead already. dance tomorrow evening seems to far away--like i just cant make it untill then. i just want some space like a sound proof room somewhere away from everyone so i can just cry with out my mom finding me and asking whats wrong and trying to baby me. i NEED to be at dance. i hate life. i hate everything but dance.

and everything and everyone seems to hate me right back.

almost 1200 calories and almost 40 fat. EEEEEEWWWWWWW. i'm so fat. well at leat my plan for tomorrow is 410. i'll just keep thinking about that...
yay tomorrow is show stoppers competition!!! we are totaly gonna suck but it'll be sooooo much fun i get to be there for like half the day. i'll hang out with my oh so awesome friends from rep. co. (*hugs leah*) and watch other dances...i'm so excited!!!
xoxo
sophie

uggh i ate 620 or something close to that...i'm such a fucking fat pig. tomorrow after JJ's quincenera (big party) i'm going back to 400 and under a day. i'm giong for a power walk with leah tomorrow before ballet so i'll get some excersize. also there will be dancing at the party, which is 5 hours so if i dance for 4 of those hours then i''l burn alot of calories...i feel fat now though...

I cant wait till tonight!!! it gonna be so much fun! leah and i are going shopping at target and platos closet so i might finaly get some new pans...in a smaller size! then we will have dinner (sounds yummy-i have been saving up my calories today for it) and go to fiddler. maybe we'll watch a movie...or just talk, either way it'll be fun!

OMG i am so uber pissed at my self!!!! why the hell did i have to eat all that fucking pasta!?!?!?! why did i have to eat that HUGE piece of cake!?!?!?!? i can see i'm fatter...i look like i have a pot belly...GROSS GROSS EEEWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!! 800 calories!!!!! eeewwwwwww!! why the hell do i have to be so fat!!!! i feel so gross...boardering on suicidal...very pissed. why couldnt i have just left the resturant and said no thanks in dont need desert...i'm a super fat pig thats why....i hate life...i hate being so god damned fucking FAT!!!!!!!!!!!

YAY!!! another 2 pounds gone!!! 106!!! 8 more pounds till i reach my goal!!!

320 cal for the day and yet i'm so fucking huge...i can feel fat on my stomach curving over when i sit...gross. what a totaly crap day. i eat less than i have in weeks and and am fatter than ever. life sucks.

I'm done with my applied tech project! i'm all bored because no one is posting...nothing to read. my mom is being so anoying and being all like "sophie, i'm worried about you...500 calories is like starvation, did you know that?...what did you have for brekfast?...what about lunch?...dont lie to me..." jeez get the hell out of my business! just leave me alone and stop being so freakin' nosey!

i'm having the worst day EVER!!! Zina is pissed at me because we are wearing the same shirt and is being an uber bitch. she is telling everyone how she boughtit first, even though it was only 30 seconds before me...plus i told her i was getting it before she bought it.oh yah and she is doing the "i'm so cute feel bad for me" thing. My good i want to kill her. i'v been on the verge of tears all day (which wasnt helped by my +D on our last history test). i'v been feeling like killing my self all day. plus there is the looming fact that i'm fat hanging over me. i'm so unloved...life sucks...i need to talk to leah (only 5 more hours)...god i hate life...

i need a hug...and my leah...yes...i need my leah

ugggh. what a crappy day. two hours of hebrew then, oh joy, talking to old people with a youth group. and wait it gets better-shit loads of homework.

i'm such a pig, 501 calories for today and no dance. i'm so fat. my god life sucks.
i'm so unloved...and fat